Sorry I haven't posted in a while...I really should make time to post more but I have certainly been a busy boy!
So, this post is about ego. I had a no-gi jiu jitsu competition this weekend (my first but certainly not my last) and to cut a long story short...I had 3 matches and lost all 3 (even writing it gives me a bit of a shudder).
Now admittedly, I was initially gutted! 3 matches and I couldn't even win 1 - REALLY!?!? But then very quickly...I asked myself why I had gotten into this in the first place. The main reason for my training in martial arts was to realise my potential. To see what my limits were and then surpass them and so far...I've done just that. There's a lot that I have overcome and acquired psychologically through martial arts. Increased confidence, the ability to push through fear and keeping my ego in check among other things.
When I decided to do the competition the first thing I told myself is that I am not doing this to be better than anyone else. The emphasis was placed on being better than Tim who trained a month ago and to just keep getting better until I am the best that I can be. However as the competition drew closer I noticed my Ego jumping in "We can win this dude...we can take em all down!!" which defeats the purpose of what I originally entered for. That followed by "Oh crap...I lost all 3 matches - I'm a total failure" helped nothing!
Within a very short period I became fascinated by my feelings as opposed to consumed by them. Mentally I know that "failure" is how we learn and that it actually isn't failure at all but feedback. The only thing that has happened is that certain area's of my jiu jitsu have been highlighted as needing more work and after I take this week off to heal (my wrist is not in the best state) - I'll be back on the grind next week as usual.
I'm still amazed at that small voice in the back of my head though. "Dude, we don't REALLY need to do this do we? Let's just leave it alone hey? We've had our fun...we can stop now - no harm done!". (My ego in an attempt to protect itself I think)
But my overall point is this.
In life - not everything goes how you expect it to and we need the negativity in life to allow us to appreciate the positivity (you can't have one without the other). Not all of us are lucky enough to get things down the first time round and most people make mistakes along the path of learning anything. Giving up is not the way to achieve your dreams. Quitting because things didn't turn out the way you thought they would doesn't allow you to achieve your end goal (whatever that may be). The only way to get where you want to be is to keep pushing forward. Got knocked down? Get up, brush yourself off and keep going. Learn from the feedback of the things that didn't work and keep trying different things until you find something that works!
The only person that can stand in the way of doing the things that you want to do is you and it is important to not allow your ego to impact you negatively through any of your endeavours.
I'll be back at the next no-gi meet and hell...I may loose every match again - and if I do...I'll be back at the gym - the following week - working on my Jiu Jitsu - getting better, being better than I was the week before but not quite as good as I would be the following week.
The only person I need to compete with is me of yesterday and as long as I'm improving...I am going toward achieving my goal every day. Being the best that I can be.
Until the next post
Peace and Love :)
