The need to retaliate

The "need" to retaliate can be so strong at times but I find it not always necessary and in many situations, counter-productive. This is not to say that you shouldn't stick up for yourself, you should definitely stick up for yourself and ensure that you set boundaries in any form of relationship with regards to the things you are (and are not) willing to accept. With that said, retaliation to someone's derogatory remarks can be best dealt with without the need to be derogatory in return.

A perfect example of this is an argument. I find this to be a mutual exchange of negative energy. Someone says something that you find hurtful and your initial reaction is to retort in kind - negative energy received, negative energy returned. A failure to do so generally leaves the other person feeling frustrated and angrier than they were in the first place. Their failure to release their negative energy onto you is like a mental hot potatoe that they're forced to hold. I feel this is because on some level, when we do respond in kind it's almost like saying "I accept your negative energy and because I have accepted it, I think it only fair that I fire some your way". This goes back and fourth and tends to escalate to sometimes crazy heights. Some feel better after a "good argument" because they have released all of their negative energy and can then reconvene on a more stable footing. But why? Why does it have to be that way? Not to say that one way is "wrong" and the other "right" but for me, I'd rather discuss the situation as I feel there is no need for argument. There are ways of getting your point across or airing your objections without the need to be derogatory and/or confrontational.

Why do we sometimes feel the need to drop in sarcastic or insulting comments on the basis of another's actions when the situation can generally be resolved by merely telling the other party your objections in a constructive way? Not to say this will always resolve the issue but at least the parties involved can come to a conclusion without the exchange of negative energy.

Retaliation is a choice, how you react is also a choice. Allowing your ego to make that decision for you can lead to nothing but more negative energy.

Once again, just my thought processes being resolved in a digital medium :)

Peace and Love.
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