I do remember a time where I felt (very briefly) that I had everything sorted. "Problems? Heck no! Issues? Don't be silly!"
Then one day, a very close friend tells me about this book. He tells me "read it, understand it, live it!". It was a book in reference to a certain psychological theory called "mr nice guy syndrome". Reading that book accounted for one of the most depressing weeks of my life. It was as if someone had followed me around with a pad n pen documenting my life and here was me thinking I was unique. Turns out that not only was I pretty much the same as thousands of people the world over - but I was a fruit cake also (I don't think that any more by the way).
So, that for me was when my journey began. With the help of some friends (and a family member) I was able to identify the things that I did not like about myself, why I didn't like them, where they came from and more importantly, how to change them. There were a few references made in different books I had read saying that I would encounter objections to the changes I would inevitably make and that these objections would come from the people closest to me. In an effort to combat this I told the people that I felt were closest to me what I would be doing and hoped for the best but alas, even quite recently (I started this journey around 5 years ago), my continual changes have prompted even my best friend to grow distant from me. On the flip side, most of the people in my life have been very cool about my changes but initially my mom (who I've always been very close to) had many objections to what I then referred to as "the new me".
Comments such as "since you've got on this self help stuff you seem to think you're better than everyone else" which was never the case at all. I remember mentally collecting all of this information and wanting to share it, helping others as much as I could, knowing how this new found information had helped me. Unfortunately, tact has never been one of my best attributes and with certain people (my mom included) I failed miserably.
Digressions aside, I always thought that with all of the self progression I was doing, that I would have an end result at some point. I soon realised (or at the very least strongly felt) that it simply wasn't possible.
Today I am a better version of who I was yesterday and tomorrow, I'll be a better version of who I am today. For me - that is perfectly fine. I truly believe that if I ever get to a place where I feel I have everything sorted it means nothing more than I have taken a wrong turn in this personal journey of mine. One of the worst feelings for me was when issues I thought I had resolved would rear their ugly heads once again, leaving me with a feeling of having taken a step back but as Malcolm X once said "stumbling is not the same as falling" (thank you Brother Malcolm!).
I don't mind having issues as I don't feel anyone is perfect but I do what I can to not fall into the same negative habits that did (and still do) nothing positive for me. It's scary at times because dealing with change (at least for me) is quite scary even if it is for the better.
The one thought that helps me through everything is this. Courage is not the absence of fear, but pushing through regardless of it's presence. It's OK to be scared as long as you don't let the fear control you - and even if it does (which occasionally it will) - remain persistent and things can only get easier.
As always, if there is anything in this that you could take anything positive from - it was worth the time it took to write it.
Peace and love
Sent using BlackBerry® from Orange
Thursday, 4 November 2010
Tuesday, 19 October 2010
And it's all for your own good
I'm pretty sure that it was Einstein who said (and I'm about to paraphrase) "it makes no sense to do the same thing over and over while expecting different results" and it's so true.
Life is challenging in that we're presented with the same "lessons" over and over until we learn that lesson. When we do, we're presented with a different lesson. One of the most important lessons for me is the realisation that we have absolutely no control over anyone but ourselves. It happens time and time again, we see a friend doing something that we know or feel will effect them negatively and (dependent on your personality) we tend to get angered at the fact that after seeking our advice, they go ahead and do it anyway. Our inability to correctly guide them leaves us feeling powerless.
That's just 1 example of the many lessons of life that we're presented with but there are so much more waiting for us.
For the longest time I saw these trials and tribulations of life as something that I hoped would eventually not be an issue but eventually realised that there is no escape. I also realised that they're not necessarily "trials and tribulations" but lessons that are presented to us by the universe. Regardless of the situation, some form of positivity can be taken from it if you look at it in the correct way.
It is very easy to play the victim and ask the heavens "why does this keep on happening to me!" However, failing to look internally and focusing on the external ensures that repetitive negativity will continue. For the most part, while we are able to influence the external, there is generally no way to guarantee its permanent change in state. This then leaves us with the internal. Namely, how we react to a situation and the choices we make as a result of a situation.
Looking at ourselves subjectively can be difficult but can also help in identifying the reasons for our reactions to situations. Something that has no effect on one, may have a deep emotional effect on another and there is usually a reason for that. Learning these reasons helps us to change our reactions or at the very least understand them and from there we can at least take solace in the fact that our new found knowledge leaves us feeling a little less lost in this great world and brings us a step further in our personal evolution.
As always, peace and love.
Sent using BlackBerry® from Orange
Life is challenging in that we're presented with the same "lessons" over and over until we learn that lesson. When we do, we're presented with a different lesson. One of the most important lessons for me is the realisation that we have absolutely no control over anyone but ourselves. It happens time and time again, we see a friend doing something that we know or feel will effect them negatively and (dependent on your personality) we tend to get angered at the fact that after seeking our advice, they go ahead and do it anyway. Our inability to correctly guide them leaves us feeling powerless.
That's just 1 example of the many lessons of life that we're presented with but there are so much more waiting for us.
For the longest time I saw these trials and tribulations of life as something that I hoped would eventually not be an issue but eventually realised that there is no escape. I also realised that they're not necessarily "trials and tribulations" but lessons that are presented to us by the universe. Regardless of the situation, some form of positivity can be taken from it if you look at it in the correct way.
It is very easy to play the victim and ask the heavens "why does this keep on happening to me!" However, failing to look internally and focusing on the external ensures that repetitive negativity will continue. For the most part, while we are able to influence the external, there is generally no way to guarantee its permanent change in state. This then leaves us with the internal. Namely, how we react to a situation and the choices we make as a result of a situation.
Looking at ourselves subjectively can be difficult but can also help in identifying the reasons for our reactions to situations. Something that has no effect on one, may have a deep emotional effect on another and there is usually a reason for that. Learning these reasons helps us to change our reactions or at the very least understand them and from there we can at least take solace in the fact that our new found knowledge leaves us feeling a little less lost in this great world and brings us a step further in our personal evolution.
As always, peace and love.
Sent using BlackBerry® from Orange
Wednesday, 6 October 2010
The Games We Play
So, I know I've been getting quite deep on my posts of late and the primary reason for this is because I'm happy. It has been a long while where I've been in a place that allows me to concentrate on what is most important to me, that being my personal growth and mental well being. For me, having other areas of my life "in order" allows me to concentrate on the many questions I have about life and this blog is a way of finalising those thought processes. I make no claims to be "right" about any of the things I say, I'm merely posting my thoughts about experiences and views that I have that feel right to me. If someone reads any of what I write and can take anything positive from it - awesome!
So with that out of the way, today's post is about the games we play.
I've actually got a book by roughly the same name and while I've not read the entire thing in great detail, what I have read makes sense. Coupled with the fact that I've had experiences quite recently of such an occurrence makes it the perfect subject of a blog post.
So, let's say you see someone that you've maybe spoken to once or twice. Every time you see that person, you give them a nod and they do the same. So, one day, you see the person and you give them the usual nod but on this occasion they fail to return it. First thing that would usually come to my mind is "well fuck you too!". Why? Because me and the other person have entered into a covert contract. Without even speaking to each other about it formally, we have agreed that every time we see each other, we will exchange nods. Their or my failure to fulfill the requirements of this unspoken agreement leaves the other party feeling a bit pissed. Not in a "the next time I see this mother fucker I'm gonna cave his skull in!" kinda way - but enough that your fulfillment of the contract in the future is entirely optional where you are concerned. It's a small thing but I know so many people that do it. Why? I haven't quite figured that bit out yet. What I can say is this. We don't know the circumstances surrounding the failure of the other person fulfilling their part of the contract. Maybe they we're having a bad day or maybe they didn't see you - something that I had never thought about until this very instant but something worth considering.
Also, I can't help but notice how we get ourselves into these patterns with others and for the most part either don't realise or even question these patterns.
OK, let us visit another end of the spectrum. You meet some chic (or dude, dependent on your gender and preference) and you exchange numbers. "Yeah, I'll call you". My question is this...why is it that most of us (including me) feel the need to leave a certain amount of time before we "make the call" because we don't want to appear too keen? I know I've done it and I know many of my friends have done it too. So, my question here is - what is the big problem with being keen? Why can't you make the call on the same day? You want to - but you decide against it so that you appear to be playing it cool. And of course, if you do make the call too early, the other person may well think "oooh, they're a bit keen!" (Which I have actually witnessed in total shock!)
Since when did we decide that a certain amount of time must go by before we "make the call" ? You like them, they like you - where is the issue? I know that in some circumstances, people can come off as being a bit (or a lot) needy - but my example is not directed at those situations.
Another example. So I'll be on the phone to...whoever. We'll be having a conversation and I may say something that is found offensive to the other party. Instead of saying "I found what you have said offensive" or "I don't agree with what you have said" the tone of the conversation will change completely. If I ask what is wrong I'm greeted with an abrupt "nothing!".
Why?
Why is it that we can't just say exactly what is on our minds? There are ways of being constructive with it but why not get it out into the open as opposed to stating that there is nothing wrong when there obviously is? Another nuance to this particular pattern that I have noticed are sarcastic comments surrounding the offensive remark.
So while some patterns are quite common, other patterns that we develop may be quite obscure. Some of these patterns can have negative effects while others positive. Our ability to identify these patterns allows us to correctly analyse and therefore deduce if their function serves as a positive or a negative. How we acquire this ability I am unsure as this is something that I've only recently started to notice myself, however, like anything in life, with time and patience I'm sure it's a skill that can be developed and something that will contribute to making us a better version of us.
Until the next post...
Peace and Love.
Sent using BlackBerry® from Orange
So with that out of the way, today's post is about the games we play.
I've actually got a book by roughly the same name and while I've not read the entire thing in great detail, what I have read makes sense. Coupled with the fact that I've had experiences quite recently of such an occurrence makes it the perfect subject of a blog post.
So, let's say you see someone that you've maybe spoken to once or twice. Every time you see that person, you give them a nod and they do the same. So, one day, you see the person and you give them the usual nod but on this occasion they fail to return it. First thing that would usually come to my mind is "well fuck you too!". Why? Because me and the other person have entered into a covert contract. Without even speaking to each other about it formally, we have agreed that every time we see each other, we will exchange nods. Their or my failure to fulfill the requirements of this unspoken agreement leaves the other party feeling a bit pissed. Not in a "the next time I see this mother fucker I'm gonna cave his skull in!" kinda way - but enough that your fulfillment of the contract in the future is entirely optional where you are concerned. It's a small thing but I know so many people that do it. Why? I haven't quite figured that bit out yet. What I can say is this. We don't know the circumstances surrounding the failure of the other person fulfilling their part of the contract. Maybe they we're having a bad day or maybe they didn't see you - something that I had never thought about until this very instant but something worth considering.
Also, I can't help but notice how we get ourselves into these patterns with others and for the most part either don't realise or even question these patterns.
OK, let us visit another end of the spectrum. You meet some chic (or dude, dependent on your gender and preference) and you exchange numbers. "Yeah, I'll call you". My question is this...why is it that most of us (including me) feel the need to leave a certain amount of time before we "make the call" because we don't want to appear too keen? I know I've done it and I know many of my friends have done it too. So, my question here is - what is the big problem with being keen? Why can't you make the call on the same day? You want to - but you decide against it so that you appear to be playing it cool. And of course, if you do make the call too early, the other person may well think "oooh, they're a bit keen!" (Which I have actually witnessed in total shock!)
Since when did we decide that a certain amount of time must go by before we "make the call" ? You like them, they like you - where is the issue? I know that in some circumstances, people can come off as being a bit (or a lot) needy - but my example is not directed at those situations.
Another example. So I'll be on the phone to...whoever. We'll be having a conversation and I may say something that is found offensive to the other party. Instead of saying "I found what you have said offensive" or "I don't agree with what you have said" the tone of the conversation will change completely. If I ask what is wrong I'm greeted with an abrupt "nothing!".
Why?
Why is it that we can't just say exactly what is on our minds? There are ways of being constructive with it but why not get it out into the open as opposed to stating that there is nothing wrong when there obviously is? Another nuance to this particular pattern that I have noticed are sarcastic comments surrounding the offensive remark.
So while some patterns are quite common, other patterns that we develop may be quite obscure. Some of these patterns can have negative effects while others positive. Our ability to identify these patterns allows us to correctly analyse and therefore deduce if their function serves as a positive or a negative. How we acquire this ability I am unsure as this is something that I've only recently started to notice myself, however, like anything in life, with time and patience I'm sure it's a skill that can be developed and something that will contribute to making us a better version of us.
Until the next post...
Peace and Love.
Sent using BlackBerry® from Orange
Saturday, 2 October 2010
Look at you
So, you walk past a MacDonalds and you see a chic with 3 big macs, 2 large fries, nuggets, an apple pie and wait for it...a diet coke. I know I've had that exact situation happen to me and I couldn't help but comment on why she'd have a diet coke.
The point I'm getting at here is, what has that got to do with me? not to say that we can't have opinions but certainly if they're unnecessarily derogatory (as was the case for me in the instance above), then what purpose does it serve me to point out my opinion to myself, a friend or even to the person themselves?
Maybe we do it as a way of making us feel better about ourselves? That makes sense to me (in terms of a reason NOT in terms of justifying the action). But if you look carefully, this is something that is embedded in our culture (certainly in the UK where I live and from what I have seen, the US also). Weekly magazines, daily newspapers, MTV programs etc. Almost every medium becomes intertwined with this focus of negativity or irrelevance relating to other people.
The Minogues and the Osbournes in a feud, Kerry Katona losing more weight, Emma Watson having to leave a building in the middle of the night because of a fire scare. All of this read in the local newspapers or "chic mags" in the past 14 days and non of it serving any positive purpose.
The only purpose I can see is the removal of focus from our own lives and onto that of others. Not only are failures and accolades catalogued, but the mundane too. Is the need for escapism so great?
We all have energy and with it the ability to direct that energy toward positivity for ourselves and others around us or for negativity. Putting the focus on others in a negative way can give us the temporary empowerment to feel better about ourselves even for just a moment, but because we are not focusing our energy on helping ourselves and by proxy, others - any fixes we have are short lived containing very little substance or solace.
Think about it, how has Jordan breaking up with Peter helped you in any way? How has Lindsay Lohans continual battle with drugs and alcohol helped you? It's all focus on the demise and downfall of others which makes us feel better about our own misgivings.
It is a rarity to be encouraged to develop the self and to gain true enlightenment and evolution and I am forced to ask why.
As a species, we are capable of so much and our individual potential tends never to be reached because of this. It is easy to follow what is known as the norm even in light of the fact that it is in no way normal. Comparison to others can only provide finite satisfaction whereas in retrospect, comparison to a former version of ourselves and seeing our progressions in that way can be far more fulfilling.
Our words as well as actions have the ability to condemn or commend, to turn a frown upside down or to help someone into a well of depression. None of us have this crazy world figured out even those of us that feel we have but the realization of this combined with a slightly different view on things could help in making this world a slightly better place for all of us.
Peace and Love.
The point I'm getting at here is, what has that got to do with me? not to say that we can't have opinions but certainly if they're unnecessarily derogatory (as was the case for me in the instance above), then what purpose does it serve me to point out my opinion to myself, a friend or even to the person themselves?
Maybe we do it as a way of making us feel better about ourselves? That makes sense to me (in terms of a reason NOT in terms of justifying the action). But if you look carefully, this is something that is embedded in our culture (certainly in the UK where I live and from what I have seen, the US also). Weekly magazines, daily newspapers, MTV programs etc. Almost every medium becomes intertwined with this focus of negativity or irrelevance relating to other people.
The Minogues and the Osbournes in a feud, Kerry Katona losing more weight, Emma Watson having to leave a building in the middle of the night because of a fire scare. All of this read in the local newspapers or "chic mags" in the past 14 days and non of it serving any positive purpose.
The only purpose I can see is the removal of focus from our own lives and onto that of others. Not only are failures and accolades catalogued, but the mundane too. Is the need for escapism so great?
We all have energy and with it the ability to direct that energy toward positivity for ourselves and others around us or for negativity. Putting the focus on others in a negative way can give us the temporary empowerment to feel better about ourselves even for just a moment, but because we are not focusing our energy on helping ourselves and by proxy, others - any fixes we have are short lived containing very little substance or solace.
Think about it, how has Jordan breaking up with Peter helped you in any way? How has Lindsay Lohans continual battle with drugs and alcohol helped you? It's all focus on the demise and downfall of others which makes us feel better about our own misgivings.
It is a rarity to be encouraged to develop the self and to gain true enlightenment and evolution and I am forced to ask why.
As a species, we are capable of so much and our individual potential tends never to be reached because of this. It is easy to follow what is known as the norm even in light of the fact that it is in no way normal. Comparison to others can only provide finite satisfaction whereas in retrospect, comparison to a former version of ourselves and seeing our progressions in that way can be far more fulfilling.
Our words as well as actions have the ability to condemn or commend, to turn a frown upside down or to help someone into a well of depression. None of us have this crazy world figured out even those of us that feel we have but the realization of this combined with a slightly different view on things could help in making this world a slightly better place for all of us.
Peace and Love.
Thursday, 23 September 2010
Tuesday, 21 September 2010
Thoughts on Religion
I was raised as a Christian as was everyone in my family. For years as a child I'd go to church with my grandmother and cousins every Sunday. there would be the main sermon followed by Sunday school. We'd get taught about the different facets of the bible, told the various stories and their morals and when I was younger I took a major interest in it. I remember having conversations with a guy called Pastor Bill Hopley who was an awesome guy. I'd have so many questions and he'd always be on hand to answer them for me, which to this day, more than 20 years on, I've always appreciated.
I was baptised at 11 years old and had taken religion into my life completely. Everything I was taught I took on board without question and believed it whole heartedly. However, years later, my life had progressed as had my thought processes and I realised that I had many questions. Does God actually exist? What if when you die - that's it. No pearly gates, no fire and brimstone and no (as George Carlin would say) "baking cookies, without an oven". Just everlasting nothing and a total cessation of consciousness.
For me, important questions with absolutely no one to answer them.
So, about 6 years ago I'm walking around Huddersfield and I see that one of the local churches is having an open "do" in the town centre. I stand and watch for a while and within no time at all I'm approached by a smartly dressed man who asks me "do you believe in God?". I reply by asking a question of my own. "If I don't believe in God, would that mean I'd be going to Hell?". "Yes". "Really?!?! So even if I live my life as a good person, I give to charity, help my fellow man and basically follow all of the tenants of the ten commandments but don't believe in God - I'm bound for hell?". "Yes. There is no way to get into heaven without first accepting the lord into your life..." The conversation soon ended and I couldn't help but think that what he was saying made no sense what so ever.
Firstly, who gave this person authority to make such a claim. Faith can be such a wonderful thing but it's nature dictates that it is in no way absolute. Saying you have a strong belief is fair enough - saying you know for sure is something totally different!
Secondly, how on earth does his statement make sense? What if I were Muslim or Sikh, or practiced Judaism? Would that mean that even though I lived my life according to good I would go to Hell because I was unlucky enough to be raised in the wrong religion? I asked a friend who I would class as very religious that same question quite recently and was told that God is a jealous God. What?!?! Jealousy requires ego and there are many on this earth who strive to rid themselves of ego. Therefore, are we meant to maintain and even cultivate the many aspects of ego? I just think that if I were an all powerful being - I'd be a great deal more like the Dalai Lama as opposed to say...George Bush.
So, moving on - I think that maybe we (or they - the writers of the bible) could have got it wrong. Not completely - but enough to mess things up a fair bit. I'm not going for the agnostic route by saying that god does not exist as I feel he does. Just not in the way that we see him. Maybe - he is not a "he" at all, or a "she". Maybe this being is so complex in it's make up that we are not yet evolved enough to comprehend it's existence. Therefore the only way to comprehend God, would be to imagine a better version of us (with a head of white hair no less).
The other possibility is that God exists, but not as described in the bible. Maybe the authors of this doctrine have written it in a way as to control people.
"Do what we say or burn in hell."
"Don't wanna give us 10% of everything you earn? hell it is for you fucker."
"Don't fancy coming to church? don't forget the oven mitts bitch!"
"Wanna worship someone else? wrong choice shit for brains! We'll tell you where you're going with a self righteous attitude and a smile on our faces."
History has shown us that fear is an effective method of controlling people. We've seen it as far back as recorded history all the way through to present day. Get rid of marijuana because it's used by "Blacks and Mexicans" who will rob your houses and by the way, if your daughter does happen to have any, she'll have Sambo hangin' out the back of her before the day is through.
N.B. I gotta say it - that last paragraph made me giggle as I was writing it.
OK another one, ID cards. "we need them to help prevent terrorism" ...What?!?! So will this ID card not only have biometric information but a few "extra's" too?
Name: Joe
Age: 26
Occupation: Terrorist since 1998
Does it mean that anyone of middle eastern decent will get stopped in the street and asked to present said card? That being the case does that mean there is no possibility of their being terrorists in any other ethnic group? How does that explain the 7/7 London bombings where one of the terrorists was a black man? And does that mean that anyone of African/Caribbean decent would be singled out too? Starting to sound a touch familiar? Rhymes with Mitler.
My point is that people were more open to these proposals because of fear. They were perfectly willing (in one of the aforementioned cases) to allow someone else to take the reigns and tell them what they should do.
OK, another question. If you do believe in God and Religion, how would you live your life if I could absolutely prove to you, that god did not exist? Would you still be a good person? (presuming that is how you live your life) and if not - couldn't your current life be classed as a form of lie? In essence, it would mean that the person being good is doing so out of fear or punishment rather than it due to the simple fact of...it's the righ thing to do. Does that even count?
Again - a great many questions so, where does that leave me? Well, my decision is this. I take from it what I feel makes sense and the rest, I leave alone. Sounds a bit flakey maybe, a "have your cake and eat it" type scenario. But I can not put any faith in something that makes no sense to me. I also think that having such a deep routed belief leaves your mind closed to new possibilities, experiences and level of understanding. Not to mention ensuring that your view will never change, while possibly closing an avenue into a world of opportunity and growth. Malcolm X once wrote something along the lines of - He remained open to new possibilities and based his actions on the facts of what was laid before him while being open to being subjective enough, as to alter his given action on the basis of new evidence. I like that idea.
I don't think that when we die it just turns into nothingness. I feel that we may move to a different plane of existence. Do I know this for sure? Of course not - but I'm glad I'm in a place where my decision to remain open gives me comfort. I feel there is something more than this and that gives me comfort. I just don't feel that whatever it is, is how most of us see it. I'll never know for sure, and I still have questions, but that, for me, is OK.
Peace and Love
I was baptised at 11 years old and had taken religion into my life completely. Everything I was taught I took on board without question and believed it whole heartedly. However, years later, my life had progressed as had my thought processes and I realised that I had many questions. Does God actually exist? What if when you die - that's it. No pearly gates, no fire and brimstone and no (as George Carlin would say) "baking cookies, without an oven". Just everlasting nothing and a total cessation of consciousness.
For me, important questions with absolutely no one to answer them.
So, about 6 years ago I'm walking around Huddersfield and I see that one of the local churches is having an open "do" in the town centre. I stand and watch for a while and within no time at all I'm approached by a smartly dressed man who asks me "do you believe in God?". I reply by asking a question of my own. "If I don't believe in God, would that mean I'd be going to Hell?". "Yes". "Really?!?! So even if I live my life as a good person, I give to charity, help my fellow man and basically follow all of the tenants of the ten commandments but don't believe in God - I'm bound for hell?". "Yes. There is no way to get into heaven without first accepting the lord into your life..." The conversation soon ended and I couldn't help but think that what he was saying made no sense what so ever.
Firstly, who gave this person authority to make such a claim. Faith can be such a wonderful thing but it's nature dictates that it is in no way absolute. Saying you have a strong belief is fair enough - saying you know for sure is something totally different!
Secondly, how on earth does his statement make sense? What if I were Muslim or Sikh, or practiced Judaism? Would that mean that even though I lived my life according to good I would go to Hell because I was unlucky enough to be raised in the wrong religion? I asked a friend who I would class as very religious that same question quite recently and was told that God is a jealous God. What?!?! Jealousy requires ego and there are many on this earth who strive to rid themselves of ego. Therefore, are we meant to maintain and even cultivate the many aspects of ego? I just think that if I were an all powerful being - I'd be a great deal more like the Dalai Lama as opposed to say...George Bush.
So, moving on - I think that maybe we (or they - the writers of the bible) could have got it wrong. Not completely - but enough to mess things up a fair bit. I'm not going for the agnostic route by saying that god does not exist as I feel he does. Just not in the way that we see him. Maybe - he is not a "he" at all, or a "she". Maybe this being is so complex in it's make up that we are not yet evolved enough to comprehend it's existence. Therefore the only way to comprehend God, would be to imagine a better version of us (with a head of white hair no less).
The other possibility is that God exists, but not as described in the bible. Maybe the authors of this doctrine have written it in a way as to control people.
"Do what we say or burn in hell."
"Don't wanna give us 10% of everything you earn? hell it is for you fucker."
"Don't fancy coming to church? don't forget the oven mitts bitch!"
"Wanna worship someone else? wrong choice shit for brains! We'll tell you where you're going with a self righteous attitude and a smile on our faces."
History has shown us that fear is an effective method of controlling people. We've seen it as far back as recorded history all the way through to present day. Get rid of marijuana because it's used by "Blacks and Mexicans" who will rob your houses and by the way, if your daughter does happen to have any, she'll have Sambo hangin' out the back of her before the day is through.
N.B. I gotta say it - that last paragraph made me giggle as I was writing it.
OK another one, ID cards. "we need them to help prevent terrorism" ...What?!?! So will this ID card not only have biometric information but a few "extra's" too?
Name: Joe
Age: 26
Occupation: Terrorist since 1998
Does it mean that anyone of middle eastern decent will get stopped in the street and asked to present said card? That being the case does that mean there is no possibility of their being terrorists in any other ethnic group? How does that explain the 7/7 London bombings where one of the terrorists was a black man? And does that mean that anyone of African/Caribbean decent would be singled out too? Starting to sound a touch familiar? Rhymes with Mitler.
My point is that people were more open to these proposals because of fear. They were perfectly willing (in one of the aforementioned cases) to allow someone else to take the reigns and tell them what they should do.
OK, another question. If you do believe in God and Religion, how would you live your life if I could absolutely prove to you, that god did not exist? Would you still be a good person? (presuming that is how you live your life) and if not - couldn't your current life be classed as a form of lie? In essence, it would mean that the person being good is doing so out of fear or punishment rather than it due to the simple fact of...it's the righ thing to do. Does that even count?
Again - a great many questions so, where does that leave me? Well, my decision is this. I take from it what I feel makes sense and the rest, I leave alone. Sounds a bit flakey maybe, a "have your cake and eat it" type scenario. But I can not put any faith in something that makes no sense to me. I also think that having such a deep routed belief leaves your mind closed to new possibilities, experiences and level of understanding. Not to mention ensuring that your view will never change, while possibly closing an avenue into a world of opportunity and growth. Malcolm X once wrote something along the lines of - He remained open to new possibilities and based his actions on the facts of what was laid before him while being open to being subjective enough, as to alter his given action on the basis of new evidence. I like that idea.
I don't think that when we die it just turns into nothingness. I feel that we may move to a different plane of existence. Do I know this for sure? Of course not - but I'm glad I'm in a place where my decision to remain open gives me comfort. I feel there is something more than this and that gives me comfort. I just don't feel that whatever it is, is how most of us see it. I'll never know for sure, and I still have questions, but that, for me, is OK.
Peace and Love
Monday, 20 September 2010
Fair well Brother
So, started a new Job today working with my old boss. At around 5pm he ask's me "have you heard about Tim?". "No..." (My initial presumption was that something had happened in terms of a change of job etc). "He died about 3 weeks ago". Died! I still. Can't believe it.
Tim helped me a great deal during my first few months at Hammonds Direct, taught me a lot about .net and different ways of coding and basically took me under his wing. I always appreciated that, but what I appreciated more were his words of wisdom which I unfortunately at the time did not quite understand. Telling me things such as "you create your own reality" which I totally understand now. I wish I could tell him that his words, although at the time fell on deaf ears, mean so much more to me now. While I didn't see it at the time, I realised later how enlightened he actually was. Like most of us, he had his faults but like very few of us, he was always looking to make himself better and evolve as a human being. Not through fashion accessories or material objects (that in the great scheme of things do not matter) but through understanding the human condition and doing what he could to make things just a little better.
"Each day, the stories of life expand our intelligence. They stun us with originality and creativity. They call to us within our boundaries. They bridge each of our realities, one to another.
The dreams are free and so are we."
~Tim Smith, June 2010
I wish I could tell him the positive effect he had on my life and that it was an honour to call him my friend and while I'll miss him, I feel confident that he is in a far better place, free from ego and filled with love and positivity.
It's a shame that it takes the sudden passing of someone you respect to make you realise how each moment with anyone that you can call a friend is something precious. Every breath we take, every time we laugh, every connection we make is treated like water in a progressive country. We have it in abundance and need it often but due to its readiness we don't appreciate it as we should. If it was a rarity however, we would appreciate it a great deal more than we do.
I shall miss you brother and I thank you for the positivity you brought into my life.
Tim helped me a great deal during my first few months at Hammonds Direct, taught me a lot about .net and different ways of coding and basically took me under his wing. I always appreciated that, but what I appreciated more were his words of wisdom which I unfortunately at the time did not quite understand. Telling me things such as "you create your own reality" which I totally understand now. I wish I could tell him that his words, although at the time fell on deaf ears, mean so much more to me now. While I didn't see it at the time, I realised later how enlightened he actually was. Like most of us, he had his faults but like very few of us, he was always looking to make himself better and evolve as a human being. Not through fashion accessories or material objects (that in the great scheme of things do not matter) but through understanding the human condition and doing what he could to make things just a little better.
The dreams are free and so are we."
~Tim Smith, June 2010
I wish I could tell him the positive effect he had on my life and that it was an honour to call him my friend and while I'll miss him, I feel confident that he is in a far better place, free from ego and filled with love and positivity.
It's a shame that it takes the sudden passing of someone you respect to make you realise how each moment with anyone that you can call a friend is something precious. Every breath we take, every time we laugh, every connection we make is treated like water in a progressive country. We have it in abundance and need it often but due to its readiness we don't appreciate it as we should. If it was a rarity however, we would appreciate it a great deal more than we do.
I shall miss you brother and I thank you for the positivity you brought into my life.
Tuesday, 14 September 2010
The Gifts of Progression
Getting to know ones self has so many hidden benefits and in my experience (relating to the people that I know) is something that people rarely do. Don't get me wrong, we all know the things we like and don't like and the obvious traits that define us but getting down to the nitty gritty and doing a great deal of self analysis has been one of the best things I have done for myself - EVER! In my post "Why" I went into how our failure to ask why can leave problems in our lives unresolved. I did however fail to mention that initially - it can be difficult to figure out. It takes a shorter time for me than it used to because it's something I work on constantly but back in the day when I first started doing it, it could take days or even weeks for me to come up with the answers. Nowadays it's something that happens far quicker by comparison. One of the hidden gifts of self progression.
The thing is, the better we know ourselves and the more we progress the more of these gifts/abilities we receive. My cousin (who has helped a great deal with my own progression) has excellent abilities (All sounding a bit like Heroes I know). Her ability to analyse someone is awesome to say the least and this is because of her own self progression (she's been doing it far longer than I have). I have seen her analyse people I know who she has met for a mere moment almost perfectly and here is the trippy bit, I don't think this is an intellectual ability but more of a spiritual one (I know, sounds a great deal like "Hippy Stoner" stuff as some of my friends would say, but I'm convinced it's not). I think if we close ourselves off to such possibilities we negate the ability to acquire and put into practice these gifts (or maybe they're already there and just need honing - remember, these are all theories based on personal experience and I don't quite have everything figured out yet).
Ever heard the phrase "Don't get stressed out when you're around a baby"? That's because a new born baby has not yet had the social programming that we all get and is therefore forced to rely upon instincts that we all possess but never cultivate. For a baby that can not speak (and initially is unable to understand speech) - they only have their instincts to go on and their academic knowledge is quite literally non existent, so the ability to "read" someone, while possibly being partially intellectual, must be for the most part, spiritual/instinctual.
Now, while I don't believe in religion, I do believe in God. I think along the years we've some how misinterpreted what and/or who god is and added an ideology to it in the form of Religion. I also think that Jesus quite possibly did exist and that he was merely (I use that word very loosely) just like us but a representation of what we could become - Evolved far before his time. I know it sounds extremly far fetched - turning water into wine, walking on water, feeding 5,000 homies with a touch of bread and a few fish - but what if he was evolved enough to be able to manipulate energy? Have you ever thought of someone and next thing you know the phones goes and it's them? Ever got a text message and you just instinctively know who it is before you look at your phone? Could be coincidence or it could be a natural progression in the next stage of human evolution. Personally, for my closest friends - (Well I say closest...2 of my long time friends) - for some reason I just instinctively know when they're in trouble (my best friend especially). Something in me just has a feeling and I get that instinct to fire that message "Are you OK?". It's the strangest thing but it's been happening for years and I'm always on the money. This does not work with everyone I meet - but again, I think this is another gift of self exploration and progression.
For some this may sound ridiculous but the fact that it sounds ridiculous does not negate the possibility. Remember, the world was once flat, 100 years ago everything that was going to be invented had been invented and the moon was less than 100 miles away. I'm not attempting to say I know fore sure because I don't - these are all just theories on the basis of my own thoughts and experiences.
Mushrooms, Marijuana, Salvia, DMT - they're all drugs that take your conciousness to a different place - I think we currently need to use these as our evolution is not evolved enough (yet) to get us there on our own (atleast for most of us). With that said, there are still those who have the ability to transcend ego, who see things for what they are and appreciate the universe on a totally different level. No Paris Hilton, No Kat Stacks, No Katie Price, No Silly ass game show where people are selling their souls for an existence that will fill the giant void in their lives with attention - just peace, peace with themselves and a true connection to the world.
The more we concentrate on the investigation of the self - the further we will go into our evolution. Our growth is never ending and our potential unlimited. My parents did not think as I did when they were this age as their parents did not thing as they did when they were my age. Our spiritual progression as a human race is increasing with each generation and I have every faith and hope, that if I ever have kids - their evolution will surpass my own and with it, they will recieve more gifts. Eventually, more and more people will become spiritually (not the same as religiously) enlightened to a point where it will take hold in a "Critical Mass Effect" to the point where while not everyone will accept it, they will at the very least be aware of it's existence and possibility.
Once again - Peace and Love
The thing is, the better we know ourselves and the more we progress the more of these gifts/abilities we receive. My cousin (who has helped a great deal with my own progression) has excellent abilities (All sounding a bit like Heroes I know). Her ability to analyse someone is awesome to say the least and this is because of her own self progression (she's been doing it far longer than I have). I have seen her analyse people I know who she has met for a mere moment almost perfectly and here is the trippy bit, I don't think this is an intellectual ability but more of a spiritual one (I know, sounds a great deal like "Hippy Stoner" stuff as some of my friends would say, but I'm convinced it's not). I think if we close ourselves off to such possibilities we negate the ability to acquire and put into practice these gifts (or maybe they're already there and just need honing - remember, these are all theories based on personal experience and I don't quite have everything figured out yet).
Ever heard the phrase "Don't get stressed out when you're around a baby"? That's because a new born baby has not yet had the social programming that we all get and is therefore forced to rely upon instincts that we all possess but never cultivate. For a baby that can not speak (and initially is unable to understand speech) - they only have their instincts to go on and their academic knowledge is quite literally non existent, so the ability to "read" someone, while possibly being partially intellectual, must be for the most part, spiritual/instinctual.
Now, while I don't believe in religion, I do believe in God. I think along the years we've some how misinterpreted what and/or who god is and added an ideology to it in the form of Religion. I also think that Jesus quite possibly did exist and that he was merely (I use that word very loosely) just like us but a representation of what we could become - Evolved far before his time. I know it sounds extremly far fetched - turning water into wine, walking on water, feeding 5,000 homies with a touch of bread and a few fish - but what if he was evolved enough to be able to manipulate energy? Have you ever thought of someone and next thing you know the phones goes and it's them? Ever got a text message and you just instinctively know who it is before you look at your phone? Could be coincidence or it could be a natural progression in the next stage of human evolution. Personally, for my closest friends - (Well I say closest...2 of my long time friends) - for some reason I just instinctively know when they're in trouble (my best friend especially). Something in me just has a feeling and I get that instinct to fire that message "Are you OK?". It's the strangest thing but it's been happening for years and I'm always on the money. This does not work with everyone I meet - but again, I think this is another gift of self exploration and progression.
For some this may sound ridiculous but the fact that it sounds ridiculous does not negate the possibility. Remember, the world was once flat, 100 years ago everything that was going to be invented had been invented and the moon was less than 100 miles away. I'm not attempting to say I know fore sure because I don't - these are all just theories on the basis of my own thoughts and experiences.
Mushrooms, Marijuana, Salvia, DMT - they're all drugs that take your conciousness to a different place - I think we currently need to use these as our evolution is not evolved enough (yet) to get us there on our own (atleast for most of us). With that said, there are still those who have the ability to transcend ego, who see things for what they are and appreciate the universe on a totally different level. No Paris Hilton, No Kat Stacks, No Katie Price, No Silly ass game show where people are selling their souls for an existence that will fill the giant void in their lives with attention - just peace, peace with themselves and a true connection to the world.
The more we concentrate on the investigation of the self - the further we will go into our evolution. Our growth is never ending and our potential unlimited. My parents did not think as I did when they were this age as their parents did not thing as they did when they were my age. Our spiritual progression as a human race is increasing with each generation and I have every faith and hope, that if I ever have kids - their evolution will surpass my own and with it, they will recieve more gifts. Eventually, more and more people will become spiritually (not the same as religiously) enlightened to a point where it will take hold in a "Critical Mass Effect" to the point where while not everyone will accept it, they will at the very least be aware of it's existence and possibility.
Once again - Peace and Love
Monday, 13 September 2010
Joe Rogan
Forget classical music - this should be played to little kids before they're pushed out!
...Enjoy!
For more of the truth (and some funny ass comedy) check out The Joe Rogan Experience.
...Enjoy!
For more of the truth (and some funny ass comedy) check out The Joe Rogan Experience.
Sunday, 12 September 2010
Why?
So maybe a month ago, I get back from work, I'm in the kitchen and I'm thinking to myself "mashed potato". So I start looking for my potato peeler but I can't find it anywhere. After about 3 minutes I'm ready to start throwing shit off the balcony in a major tantrum and then it dawns on me the reality of the situation. My flat is not without knives, I got at least 20 in the kitchen (sharp too). So I take a step back and ask myself "what is actually going on here?". After a short period, I figure it out. Not happy with where I was working plus a few other personal problems was really getting to me. Anyway, that's not the point I'm trying to make. What I'm trying to say is, how often do we ask ourselves why? I remember a time in my life where the thought would not even cross my mind. Something would make me unhappy and it would effect other parts of my life. I'd realize that this "other part" of my life was causing irritation but wouldn't think that the cause would more often than not have been something totally unrelated, I just knew that I was unhappy and pissed off.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that if we stopped to ask ourselves why, maybe it would have a positive effect on other parts of our lives. The ability to resolve any issues lies in first knowing the cause of the issue. Our failure to ask why, can leave problems unresolved and can put us into a cycle of doing the same thing over and over, hoping for a different result while at the same time reenforcing behavior patterns that effect us negatively.
Asking ourselves why, opens the gate to finding the problem. Finding the problem then gives us 4 options.
1. Leave everything as it is.
2. Change it.
3. Accept it.
4. Get rid of it.
Leaving everything as it is tends to be a crap option. If we need to ask ourselves why, the reason generally indicates that some form of change needs to happen. So, can we change it? If not, are we able to accept it. Finally, failing those - we're left with the remaining option of getting rid of it (for you crazies out there, no, I don't mean off someone!). It's a simple concept overall but works for me every time.
A conscious decision to simply ask "why?" has helped me resolve problems that would have otherwise been left alone.
I'm not trying to preach or tell anyone how to live their life. However, if you're able to take something positive from this then the 25 minutes it took to write this was worth every second.
Peace and Love.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that if we stopped to ask ourselves why, maybe it would have a positive effect on other parts of our lives. The ability to resolve any issues lies in first knowing the cause of the issue. Our failure to ask why, can leave problems unresolved and can put us into a cycle of doing the same thing over and over, hoping for a different result while at the same time reenforcing behavior patterns that effect us negatively.
Asking ourselves why, opens the gate to finding the problem. Finding the problem then gives us 4 options.
1. Leave everything as it is.
2. Change it.
3. Accept it.
4. Get rid of it.
Leaving everything as it is tends to be a crap option. If we need to ask ourselves why, the reason generally indicates that some form of change needs to happen. So, can we change it? If not, are we able to accept it. Finally, failing those - we're left with the remaining option of getting rid of it (for you crazies out there, no, I don't mean off someone!). It's a simple concept overall but works for me every time.
A conscious decision to simply ask "why?" has helped me resolve problems that would have otherwise been left alone.
I'm not trying to preach or tell anyone how to live their life. However, if you're able to take something positive from this then the 25 minutes it took to write this was worth every second.
Peace and Love.
Saturday, 17 April 2010
Back to Bloggin...
So I was Kontaining for a bit but it ain't as good. It's pretty, it's nice, but there's something about having my own design and domain that makes me feel a bit better about things.
So - what's been happening in the year and a bit that I've been incommunicado? Fuck loads! I've moved twice, had a REAL shitty relationship (that I'm thankfully out of as of September), saw Joe Rogan Live in Manchester (which was just frikkin' AWESOME!!) and more recently, decided to join a Martial Arts Instructors programme, or at least attempt to...will find out in the next few months if I'll be able to do it.
Anyways, think I'll be back on the Blogging tip from here on so expect more soon.
Oooh - Big Giant Happy Birthday to JoJo - Have an awesome day sis :)
Tuesday, 6 January 2009
Thursday, 13 November 2008
Eddie Bravo
The dude is just a straight up stud!! Complete visionary...
this guy totally makes me wanna keep doing jiu jitsu!
Tuesday, 11 November 2008
My first Submission and UFC predictions
So I got my very first submission last night. May have only been 1 submission but it was sweet all the same. I was in top position in a guillotine choke. Luckily he didn't have his legs wrapped around me so I could stand up and ease the pressure. Managed to get my head out - take the full mount and then went from an arm triangle to a Kimora - those 3 light pats on the mat have never sounded sweeter. OK - I got submitted about 300 times after that but the fact still remains...there is a bit of progress there I think :)
Anyways, Couture vs Lesnar this weekend and I can't wait!! I'm totally routing for Randy...the dude is one of my Heroes and just a complete gentleman. He don't walk shit about people...give it large or bring on attitude...he is a true champ in every sense of the word. Integrity and Honour. Brock on the other hand...a complete beast and a total prat in my opinion. OK, so he beat Heath Herring and I respect the dude for that totally, but as I've said before, I'd respect him more if he was a bit more humble. I know that in the MMA World you need confidence, but there's a fine line between confidence and arrogance and Brock has opted for the latter. He was talking shit about Randy even before this fight was on the cards so I think I'll get satisfaction out of watching Randy beat him (if that turns out to be the case).
OK - Predictions for this weekend and the tournament are 2 fold. My first set will contain what I would like to happen, the second will contain what I think will happen.
What I would like to see:
Couture vs Lesnar : Couture wins
Noguiera vs Mir : Noguiera wins
Couture vs Noguiera : Couture wins
What I think I will see:
Couture vs Lesnar : Lesnar wins (I want Randy to win more than anything but I have a very bad feeling about this entire thing!!)
Noguira vs Mir : Noguira wins
Lesnar vs Noguiera : Lesnar wins
OK - so my prediction for this weekend, on the record...Couture wins by submission (RNC) in the fourth round (I know this is a contradiction...but I'm a big fan of Randy and so I intend to predict with bias).
I think Demian Maia will win by submission IF he can take Quarry to the ground without being caught by a hay maker. We'll see...but I'm gonna go for Maia coming out of this with a clean record.
Check out the fight card and extras at the official UFC 91 web site.
Anyways, Couture vs Lesnar this weekend and I can't wait!! I'm totally routing for Randy...the dude is one of my Heroes and just a complete gentleman. He don't walk shit about people...give it large or bring on attitude...he is a true champ in every sense of the word. Integrity and Honour. Brock on the other hand...a complete beast and a total prat in my opinion. OK, so he beat Heath Herring and I respect the dude for that totally, but as I've said before, I'd respect him more if he was a bit more humble. I know that in the MMA World you need confidence, but there's a fine line between confidence and arrogance and Brock has opted for the latter. He was talking shit about Randy even before this fight was on the cards so I think I'll get satisfaction out of watching Randy beat him (if that turns out to be the case).
OK - Predictions for this weekend and the tournament are 2 fold. My first set will contain what I would like to happen, the second will contain what I think will happen.
What I would like to see:
Couture vs Lesnar : Couture wins
Noguiera vs Mir : Noguiera wins
Couture vs Noguiera : Couture wins
What I think I will see:
Couture vs Lesnar : Lesnar wins (I want Randy to win more than anything but I have a very bad feeling about this entire thing!!)
Noguira vs Mir : Noguira wins
Lesnar vs Noguiera : Lesnar wins
OK - so my prediction for this weekend, on the record...Couture wins by submission (RNC) in the fourth round (I know this is a contradiction...but I'm a big fan of Randy and so I intend to predict with bias).
I think Demian Maia will win by submission IF he can take Quarry to the ground without being caught by a hay maker. We'll see...but I'm gonna go for Maia coming out of this with a clean record.
Check out the fight card and extras at the official UFC 91 web site.
Thursday, 6 November 2008
Dizzy Rascal what are you doing?
So I was watching TV last night, surfing for information relating to the recent election of Barack Obama. I'm waiting for Heroes to come on so I go to BBC2 and what do you know, they have a Newsnight special relating to everything that has been going on. At one stage Paxman decides to get the point of view of 2 people that the BBC must have thought correctly reflected the different spectrums of the black community.
So you have former Leader of the House of Lords, Baroness Valerie Amos in one corner and Dylan Mills (aka Dizzy Rascal - no...you have not read that incorrectly) in the other!
Valerie Amos gave a clear, thorough and well presented view of where she felt everything was going and what needs to be done next etc. Dizzy Rascal on the other hand did nothing but fulfil what in my view is an extremely negative stereotype. The hand gestures, the obvious lack of understanding relating to some of the questions and his blatant inability to clearly communicate his patterns of thought in a concise manner were an extremely sad sight to see.
Barrack Obamas achievement is a proud moment in humanity and shows that the Human race is moving forward and transcending racial differences and divides. Many of those divides do still exist and I agree with Malcolm X who said that before we as a human race can unify we as black people need to unify. I feel that if we are going to have people that represent our community, the younger black community, it should be someone with a bit more effluence than Dizzy Rascal!
I couldn't even watch the entire thing for fear that he was gonna start shouting "Brap! Brap!" at the camera...idiot!!
Here we have, another point of view.
And another...
So you have former Leader of the House of Lords, Baroness Valerie Amos in one corner and Dylan Mills (aka Dizzy Rascal - no...you have not read that incorrectly) in the other!
Valerie Amos gave a clear, thorough and well presented view of where she felt everything was going and what needs to be done next etc. Dizzy Rascal on the other hand did nothing but fulfil what in my view is an extremely negative stereotype. The hand gestures, the obvious lack of understanding relating to some of the questions and his blatant inability to clearly communicate his patterns of thought in a concise manner were an extremely sad sight to see.
Barrack Obamas achievement is a proud moment in humanity and shows that the Human race is moving forward and transcending racial differences and divides. Many of those divides do still exist and I agree with Malcolm X who said that before we as a human race can unify we as black people need to unify. I feel that if we are going to have people that represent our community, the younger black community, it should be someone with a bit more effluence than Dizzy Rascal!
I couldn't even watch the entire thing for fear that he was gonna start shouting "Brap! Brap!" at the camera...idiot!!
Here we have, another point of view.
And another...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)