The Dilemma - a Scenario for dudes

So, while we work we chat amongst ourselves and we've come up with a question that none of us are currently able to answer (obviously - there are no females on our team)

Would you rather be Quasimodo ugly and have a giant cock?

OR

Would you rather be Brad Pitt/Denzel Washington with a little cock?

It's a tough one huh??

Super Timmy Punch!

So - in training last night we were doing this thing called "Stop Point" (atleast I think that's what it's called). The whole idea is, you square off, the ref says go and whoever gets the hit in first gets a point, everything is stopped and you start again. The entire point of this is to build up attack speed to ensure you're the first one in and we usually work to a "first to 5 points" system. Being as I ain't exactly got fat wedges of muscle weighing me down I'm able to bring speed pretty easily and I've not had a great deal of luck executing the Super Man punch during sparring being as my opponent usually see's it coming a mile off. A friend of mine suggested that I set it up with a Jab (cheers chunky) so I've been practising this little manouver infront of the mirror. Anyways - yesterday...saw an opening, threw the jab and then went in with a superman punch and totally nailed it. Unfortunatley - I ended up hitting my sparring partner square in the eye (Sorry Cuan) and the point didn't count - BUT the fact still remains that I executed that bad boy to a Tee.

I was apologetic as anything being as it's never my intention to hurt sparring partners but I was chuffed as a basta*d when I actually realised I executed it. HAPPY DAYS!!

UFC 89 HERE I COME :)

So my tickets have come through!! :) HAPPY HAPPY DAYS!

I'm in section G which means I get to see Leben feel the pain close up!! YAY! Can't wait :)

Matt Hughes - The Book Review

So finished the Matt Hughes book. Not gonna spend too much time on a review being as there's already a good few hours I've spent reading this tripe that I know I can never get back. Seems I'm reading things in a particular order without even realising it. Chuck Liddells book is freaking awesome, Tito's book is very good and Matt Hughes book comes a few country miles behind theirs. He tells you about all these things that have happened in his life which is fine but rarely do you get to see the point or conclusion to any of these stories. In one section he's saying how he just didn't take to Tim Sylvia (there was no reason for it) and in another section goes on to explain where Tim confronts him about it in the nicest way possible and he acts like a total dick. In yet another section it would appear him and Tim are cool and in between all of this - no explanation as to why he didn't like him (although I'm guessing it's just because Matt is perfect and everyone else is beneath the great king) and no explanation as to what made him change his mind.

I think the bit that got me was where him and Jens Pulver are bitching about newbies training in the gym. No offence but no one knows anything until someone teaches them - therefore at one point Matt knew nothing about MMA until he was taught.

All in all, I get the impression that he thinks he's Stephen King or some other great writer. On TV (The Ultimate Fighter) he comes across as a bit of a prat and the book does nothing but confirm this. He reminds me of that guy in School - the big dude that no one actually liked and was a complete dick to everyone! Most people tend to grow out of that sort of behaviour - Matt Hughes has yet to.

There is something that I agree with in this book though - Every couple of chapters or so he keeps saying "There's a lot you can do in 5 minutes" and he ain't wrong. It only took me that long to take it back to the shop and get my refund!

Worth the read if you want to see what kind of guy he is...although I'd wait til you can get it at the library. No point wasting your hard earned coin to help add air to an already dangerously inflated ego.

Dissapointing - yes
Suprising - not really

UFC 87 : Review

I actually stayed up to watch this and finding ways to kill time til 3am when you're high and there's nothing on Telly is not easy!! I managed it though and totally worth it! With the exception of the 2nd round stoppage predicted in the last post, everyone who I thought would win...won. Have to say, easily one of the best UFC events I've seen in years - Demian Maia vs Jason McDonald was an excellent Jui Jitsu showcase. Jason M is not an easy dude to tap!!

The Ken Flo vs Huerta fight was good - I was routing for Heurta but Kenny had some seriously tight skill.

Brock Lesnar is a freaking beast! Congrats on the dude winning the fight but I found him to be a touch disrespectful once the fight was won. Pointing at the opponent and laughing...what a complete twat! Yeah I can see you now you big headed mother fucker!

The GSP Fitch fight should easily have got fight of the night. Jon Fitch is a freaking machine. The dude can take serious punishment and just keep on going. That guy has nothing to be ashamed of in loosing, he put up a hell of a fight!

UFC 87 - Predictions

Yeah, not been doing my predicitions of late so decided to start them back up again. As usual I'll be predicting the 3 main fights: -

Brock Lesnar vs Heath Herring
Brock Lesnar will win by 2nd round TKO

Kenny Florian vs Roger Huerta
Kenny Florian will win by Judges decision

George St Pierre vs John Fitch
George St. Pierre will win by Judges decision

So, for those of you living in the UK - Setanta Sports, Saturday night - 3am. I for one will be staying my ass awake to watch it. Let's see if my predictions are correct :)

My Theory

So I'm talking to a friend last night and we're having a deep conversation and came up with this.

All food should be free BUT If you weigh in as "Overweight", you should be charged for it and I'm talking through the nose!! OBESITY IS NOT A F**KING DISEASE!! No one makes you pick up that chicken wing!! No one puts a gun to your head and tells you not to exercise!! Don't get me wrong...if you truly have some form of condition that regardless of what you do...you end up being a bit chubby then fair enough...but if you're 30 stone - that's your own doing!!!

I worked with one guy...must have been 25 stone. Couldn't walk up a flight of stairs without getting out of breath. We're sat having a chat one day and he tells me..."I dunno...I just can't loose weight. I tried playing badminton but nothing happens" and while he's telling me this little sob story he's shoveling a bacon, sausage and egg sandwich down his gullet!!

ITS NOT A DISEASE!

UFC BABY!!

I am now the proud owner of tickets to UFC 89 - Bisping vs Leben. Managed to get tickets closer to the Octagon this time for the same price as I got the last tickets. Also...no more driving for hours - it's in Birmingham which is where all my homies are at, so I'm chuffed as a button!!

From Mike Bisping...

"Thanks Tim, much appreciated. Thanks for the support. It means alot. Hope
you enjoy the fights in Birmingham.
Be lucky

Mike"

Prediction : Bisping wins by 2nd round knock out.

Tito Ortiz : This is gonna hurt

So, on the last few pages of Tito's book. It's actually not bad. I think after reading Chuck Liddells auto-bio and some of the things he says about Tito - thought it would be an idea to see the other side of the coin. I think Tito is a bit more business orientated when it comes to his fighting, not to say that fighting is not a passion for the dude but I think it's sensible to ensure you have some bread for your future. Chuck on the other hand just likes to fuck people up. He'd do it for free if it came down to it and the fact that he's taken care of financially is more fo a bonus than a prerequisite. Only thing is, I hear that there was a fight with Tito and another MMA fighter outside a club in London (as well as others) which is all described in Matt Hughes book. This is mentioned no where in either Tito's or Chucks auto-bio's - so I'll be getting that today.

So far, I think I'm preferring Chucks book but have more admiration for Tito as the dude has been through a great deal and came out the other end. Next on the list after Matt Hughes book - Randy Couture.

Tee-Ay-Assimo!

OK, so I must be getting on in years being as one of my birthday presents to myself this year was a Tassimo! 5 years ago I wouldn't have dreamed of getting one but now...it's one of my favourite gadgets (sad I know). You get these cool little pods, you put the pod in the machine, press the button and 60 seconds later you got a hot drink. Cafe Creme people!! It's pretty much the same coffee you get in Amsterdam not the shat they serve over here...anyways...get one!

Oooh - got me a stupidly expensive surround sound system too. HD and Optical inputs n all o that, woop ass speakers, think I prefer the Tassimo ;)

3 months of pain starts here

OK, so I'm now joining the "Pain Train" for the next 3 months. T-Total for the next 3 months which means: -

No Cigs (Ouch)
No Alcohol (I rarely drink anyway)
No Weed

I've also got 3 months to gain 7 kilos...weighed myself this morning and I was 69 kilos, need to be 76 for this fight. That is the only thing that gives me a bit of pause. Where as most people wanna cut weight, slow down on eating etc...I gotta gain it and that's hard as hell for someone with the metabolic rate of "The Flash".

We'll see how things go.

Another beached whale...

Does anyone every consider that Whales that beach themselves are the retards of the Whale community??

Go buy this little snippet of the Rogan (from Shiny Happy Jihad which is REAL funny!) - swiftly becoming my favourite stand-up comedian.